Hi… To tell the truth, I can’t even tell my closest friends about this problem…
but it’s making me more depressed lately,
and I don’t think I can bear it alone anymore…
so since I can post here as anonymous, I decided to send my story. First of all, I’m sorry if this kind of serious…
and my English is not very fluent so please bear with me.
I am a second child in my family,
and I have an older brother.
I think I have a broken family.
My father is a hard worker and he got a lot of friends.
But, I can’t think of him as a good husband for my mother or a good father to us anymore.
It’s started when we live abroad when I was in primary school.
I don’t remember when but he started going to clubs,
drink a lot and didn’t come back until dawn.
Since then, my mother and my father began to fight a lot…
One day my father and mother ask me and my older brother which one would we choose if mom and dad got separated. But they didn’t have a divorce, even until now when I’m already graduated from college. My father often works in other region or other country,
so we didn’t see each other much.
But even when he’s home… he doesn't sleeps in one bedroom with mom anymore.
He spends more time and more of his money on his friends than us, his family.
Even on my birthday, his birthday, holidays or even in the weekends he always hang out with his friends.
Right now, he lives his life just like he hasn’t had family or child.
Because he always spends a lot of money for his friends
(he REALLY buys everything and gives money to his friends),
he got many debts so his pay often get cut off to pay his credit cards. Recently this year, we (my mother, brother and I) found out that he’s been cheating on my mom…
with two woman (all of them are widows and one of them even already have a child).
I can’t concentrate in my study neither my work because this really affected me physically,
I feel so stressed and depressed.
Also he’s saying that he feels uncomfortable to stay at our home,
but to tell the truth he’s the one who makes it hard for us to be comfortable around him—
and he’s the one who’s been giving so much damage in our family.
But of course his friends judged us as the wrong one.
We tried to talk to his sisters (my aunts) but they also defended their brother even if he’s the only one who’s wrong…
and keep telling us ‘just be patient, ‘you should just be grateful you still have dad’, etc. Because all of this, whenever I’m around my father…
I just can’t feel him as ‘a father’ figure anymore.
Now he is just like a stranger living in our house. It’s like I don’t have a father anymore…
because it doesn’t make any difference if I have one right now or not.
Sometimes I wish my father to just live with his friends instead and get out from my life. Is what I’m feeling now is right? Am I being a bad daughter? I seriously can’t think about what to do anymore… TT_TT -------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you :)