Hello, To understand a little the whole context of my story, a little of background story. I entered last year a top university in country to study a degree in education, which I thought was gonna make me happy. The first year was quiet easy, I was a little above the avarege but something always felt a little off, something didn't seem right. I kept making myself believe that education was something I wanted to do, mainly, because of my parents and family pressure. This year, 2018, I started my second year and I totally hated it. Because I hated so much attending to lectures, going to schools and even just grabing a text book I slowly developed an anxious-depressive disorder, that took me some time to digest and understand, enough time to get sick. I used to throw up everytime I eat, so I lost a lot of weight, I was anxious and my body ached everyday, only weekends were the days I was the happiest. Because of the feminist movement that took by strom my country, my university was on strike for a little over 3 months, time when BTS -a group I used to listen a lot, but slowly stop listening because I only slept- realesed "Love yourself: Her". I was kind of curious and decided to try and listen to them again, and my whole life changed. It sounds dramatic, yeah it does, but the positive influence that it had in me was crazy, now, I feel like I owe them so much. Because of their lyrics I was able to find peace, I was able to feel loved and most important, I was able to feel supported by someone, that someone I didn't have by myself because I lived by myself in a unfamiliar city. "I know that you’re hesitating because even if you say the truth, In the end it will all return as scars" the first two sentence of Magic Shop were enough to make me understand that I always was too scare to say the truth because I didn't want to be hurt by others, I kept lying myself because I couldn't handle the fact that I was too scare to dissapoint my parents. Becuase of their pretty lyrics, inspiring messages, I changed my mind and I was able to take some important decisions, such as, dropping my education degree so next year, I can study something I always wanted, design. Becuase of the positive impact I was able to overcame this fear of telling the truth to my parents, and I was so close to having a breakdown waiting for their answer, but they supported me with my decision, because they never knew my feelings, because I was too busy trying to make others proud I totally forgot about myself, and I lost all my self love, self confidence, and overall, I lost myself. I know this is cheesy, but PLEASE, never do anything that will lead you to be sad, depressed and tired of your life, because thinks get better once you take control of your own life, when you add splash of colors to your path. Let's stay strong together pannchoa readers, let's stay resilient in the future and let's love ourselves. I hope you all are doing great, Bye! (:
Got a story? Submit it here!
0 comments:
Post a Comment