(T/N: the post is a repost from Pann. Since the Pann post didn't get as much traction, we'll translate from TheQoo. There are quite a lot of stories from Pann that gets reposted here and vice versa :P)
I'm in my 30's and I seriously don't have any close friends
I feel like it's because of my personality
I'm shy and I'm boring
I can't relate well with others
Because I can't relate, when I'm talking with others, I can't communicate well
Our conversation usually cuts off short
Even so, I'm trying to give as much reaction as I can and think about the other person's perspective
When I try to understand them and answer them, they say that I don't get the point
My humor code is also different from others
When others are laughing or find something fun, I don't find it funny
Even so, in order to match the vibe, I laugh
But I don't even know what's funny
If I meet someone, I just put on a smile
It's hard to force a reaction and I hate picking up the phone
I'm anxious when I meet someone alone and there's only the 2 of us
Even so, when I'm alone, I feel lonely
so I make effort to get close to others
But no matter what I do, it doesn't work out ㅠㅠ
Even when I laugh, my laugh is forced so it looks unnatural
It's not fun for me so I'm making my smile obvious
When I date, I have nothing to tell my boyfriend
And when I try to force myself to do something, things just seem to be out of place
Luckily, I got married so I at least have a husband
But I can't echo my husband's words well
When my husband gets excited about something and talks about it, I reply with "oh really? Seems fun" and the atmosphere just falls flat
I want to give bigger reactions but I can't really bring myself to do it
What should I do to communicate and match with my boyfriend's personality better?
+
Some people are asking how I got married
And others are suggesting therapy and I thought about it
To be honest, I have depression and my relationship with my parents isn't good
Ever since I was small up to when I became an adult, my parents feel that it's a pain to talk to me and get me to relate to them
When I was watching TV or whatnot, they would say that I was too noisy and cane me(?)
So I don't know what to say nor how to react
In order to make an effort, I tried going to a few group meetings
But in the end, I just felt out of place ㅠㅠ
I had thoughts about just living alone but
my husband chased me for 3 years and said that he would make me happy
So I married him
original post: here
1. I thought that I was the same but I feel like OP just hasn't found anyone that truly matched her.. I feel like it's even more the case because she mentioned how she couldn't relate, didn't have the same humor code or hobbies... I'm the same as my unnie so we get along well ㅋㅋㅋ
2. That's how I've been feeling nowadays and it's seriously hurtful. I think I need therapy.. ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
3. If you are close to me, let's be friends. I seriously don't find it awkward if you have nothing to say and just share a word or two. We can comfortably lie down and play around. Ah, I need friends. Just for a drink. When I'm with my friends, they say that I'm not fun and I'm just so tired of trying to adjust to them
4. Ah..... even so she got married.... It's a relief that she has her husband to be her closest lifelong friend
5. Can this be an IQ issue?
6. I think that rather than you being uninterested in others, it's more about the topic of conversation. Nobody cares about things that nobody asked for or are not curious about. Listening to someone's private life that no one cares about is just torture. Me too, at work, I pretend to relate to others but it's really not fun to meet these people. For this kind of people, if their hobby is fangirling, they need to meet another fangirl.
7. This doesn't feel like a stranger's story ㅠㅠㅠ me too, when people are talking to me, unless it's about work, I can't relate to their private lives ㅠㅠ The topic of conversation is just so boring... When others tell me about this and that about themselves I just go "I see..." I don't even know what else to say.. ㅠㅠ
8. That's me ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ to be honest, there's nothing about the other person I'm curious about ㅇㅇ
9. Maybe it's because you're just not interested in others?
10. OP has exactly the same personality as me. I tried talking about it to my sunbae and in the end, the issue was that I couldn't open up easily...ㅋㅋㅋ
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