Thursday, January 25, 2018

[marriage/ in-laws] HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AT 30 Y.O. AS A GIRL

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Hello,
I’m someone who’s from the suburbia and who moved to Seoul. I’m a woman in my late-mid 30’s.
I came here in my 20’s because of my university but from my late 20’s to my early 30’s I got very sick so I didn’t go to any outdoor activities. I’ve also barely had any boyfriends.
I had surgery in my early 30’s and I had to recover for 1 year
Right now, I’m not sick anymore and I want to do work diligently.
The reality is slowly hitting me as I’m reaching my late 30’s.
I don’t think that I have any female friends.
I don’t really go to those university alumni reunion since I’ve never really participated in anything throughout university so it would be too awkward.
What kind of meet ups should I go to if I wanted to make some friends?
I even tried going to church.
Please give me some advice ~

post response:
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original post: here

ㅋㄴ |2018.01.25 12:05 신고하기
I just don’t mingle with others. I don’t want to live a life always minding about others. You have to want to form relationship with others for this to work out. As long as you have 1-2 good friends, it should be enough. Since you are already in your 30’s you should just live a my-way life.
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ㅇㅇ |2018.01.25 13:13 신고하기
You seriously don’t need friends. I find it much more comfortable to eat alone. Also, if you start going to the movies alone and go shopping alone, you will start enjoying spending time by yourself. I couldn’t even fathom something like that in my 20’s but… now that I’m old and that I’m meeting with friends, I feel like our conversations are not even genuine anymore. I’m not curious about their lives anymore either. If you meet with women, they just end up nitpicking behind your back so I just think that meeting people is meaningless. And if we do end up meeting, we just drink 1-2 cups of tea. But I have no desire to meet people anymore.
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|2018.01.25 12:39 신고하기
I’m the same age as you.. now that I’m this old, I don’t really mind about friends anymore, as long as I live a good life. The friends I had when I was young all got married or are working so they also got busy and we don’t see each other so often anymore.
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남자 ㅇ |2018.01.25 13:37 신고하기
At 30 y.o., I have already established my priorities and I don’t really care about hanging out with who and who anymore, and there is no one that I particularly like. When you are in your teens you are more considerate of other people. But once you hit your 20’s or 30’s your standards also get higher. If you find just one thing negative about someone else, you start thinking “this person is weird… I don’t think they match me…” and then you end up not meeting them anymore. Our situations are pretty similar and we are also of the same age and education but we need to be considerate of other people too. Everyone is busy living their own lives and no one has enough time to spend it on other people so it’s very hard to find someone who would fit your situation and give you her time. I think that it would be good for you to go somewhere with a lot of people and if there’s someone that interests you, you should take up your courage and go talk to him/her. But because it’s hard to tell what someone is hiding behind their expressions, there are a lot of cases of failure too….
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남자 ㅇㅁㅇ |2018.01.25 14:25 신고하기
She wants to make friends and is asking for advice but everyone is telling her that she doesn’t need friendsㅋㅋㅋ you guys, just live like that you losers. There’s a reason why you people without friends have no friendsㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ this kind of people are the ones who will complain when they have no one to attend their weddingㅋㅋㅋㅋ There are lots of people on PANN who say that it’s better to have no friends but if you go outside, no one is friendless.
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ㅇㅇㅇ |2018.01.25 17:10 신고하기
The comments are so weird… of course you have to enjoy your time alone but isn’t it funny to tell someone who wants to make friends that she doesn’t need them?; seriously if you want to live your life right, you need a minimum of human interaction
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