t/n: VERY long post, we'll try to translate everything but paraphrase/skip if it gets redundant/irrelevant
I know you probably think that this situation is nonsense reading the title, but I'm writing this post so that other people don't end up like me.
First of all, I'm 36 years old. my wife is 36 y'o just like me. We've been together since 2010 and got married in 2015 and divorced in 2020.
In the 10 years of dating and ending up getting married, divorcing someone isn't something that happens after a day or 2, it was an agonizing decision to take.
The issue started last year in 2019.
First of all, does everyone know this idol named Lee Jinhyuk?
This is how the f*cker looks like, he's one of the kids who participated in that national rigged program PX101.
To be frank, this idol barely has any recognition and his fame was on the decrease
If you take 10 Koreans of the 50M Koreans we have, 7 will know about Im Youngwoong, but not one of those 10 will know about Lee Jinhyuk.
The problem started at that time when my wife started liking this f*cker.
Someone will ask me about this for sure. "No but isn't she allowed to like idols?" Of course she is, I can understand that
But I hope you can listen to my side until the end and understand my position.
First of all, due to the nature of my work, I travel frequently to local areas.
Still, I try my best to exclude weekends as much as possible so I can spend time with my wife.
I usually drive home late at night but I don't rest because I'm in charge of cleaning the house.
My wife has quite the itchy feet(?) so every weekend, she wants to go somewhere. Even when my body is tired, I try to adjust to her rhythm. But I don't have any time to recharge and before I know, I need to travel to another area again.
But after all this, I still held back. Because I was thinking about our future.
There were small troubles here and there, but just like every married couple, we would fight briefly and make up right after. That's how we spent the past 4 years.
At that time, PX101 started broadcasting, it was May 2019. Of course, she also enjoyed watching the previous series so I didn't mind that much and I watched it with her.
However, the most innocent people are usually the ones who fall the most easily
That girl started to fall for Lee Jinhyuk because he got eliminated, and started to become so obsessed that it began to interfere with her daily life.
I might sound a bit childish because he's just an idol.. But I did believe that she can like him too.
I even drove her to Lee Jinhyuk's first mini concert (all the way to Kyunghee University) and I paid for all the KT live content(?).
She also liked HOT and Sechskies before and went to their concerts, so I didn't think much of it at that time
When the program ended in July, this girl didn't even inform me and she suddenly told me that she will start studying idol marketing over the weekends so she would be coming late every weekend.
She will go out very early every Saturday and come back at night. She also went out on Sundays. And on days she wasn't doing that, she would be spending the day on her Katalk and all the content will be about Lee Jinhyuk (videos, articles, etc.).
Usually, I'm in charge of cleaning the house, and since I'm in charge of the house, this girl didn't even care whether the house was in a mess or not, or how her husband felt, she will still go outside at night or watch Lee Jinhyuk related videos or articles all day.
On a random day, I stumbled on a receipt from her credit card and saw that she went to his concerts in Hongdae and Gangnam, and going here and there spending lavishly. That made me think "Is this girl just playing around?"/
And once a week, we would receive a new package to our house, everything was hers.
We had every kind of make up, clothing and shoes that was related to Lee Jinhyuk.. Every Saturday, I saw her leave the house early in the morning with a bunch of make up, her new clothes and drink until midnight, take the taxi and come home. I just felt that this was kind of wrong (and was she even really studying marketing..?)
I'm not rich, and I've been wearing the same underwear I wore for 4 years, eating only kimbaps for lunch for my wife and my future kids, meanwhile she was spending on everything she wanted. Once, she even spent 5M won (~4.5K USD) to fix her teeth and get fillers without telling me beforehand.
But she's always telling me stuff like "Those are my hobbies, why do you care?" "I spend everything using the money I earned, who are you to tell me what to do with it?" I was just at loss of words.
This person told me she wanted to study "marketing" until December this year, and I've always wondered if things could get better after all this? But this is just getting out of hand
This is where the biggest issue started.
On August, I was finally getting my first vacation and we were planning to go to Jeju for summer. In fact, I've been planning this for a while. I wanted to bring up the mood and was wondering if we had a good time, things would get better. But even after spending on this expensive trip, this girl was on her phone during the whole trip, listening to Lee Jinhyuk's lives. (There's also a notification coming in every second in the Lee Jinhyuk fandom chat room)
If you look at the picture, you know how I feel right? She has over 4 chat rooms, and she has notifications about videos/articles to check out all day long
We came all the way to the vacation spot and seeing the situation I was in, I just wanted to cut it off. I was starting to wonder if I was just some driver or guide for her at that point.
And at the end of August, while going to work, I ended up in a car crash accident.
I was in complete confusion at the time, but it was my mistake, and it was during work, so I believed that it would be resolved smoothly over time.
The problem was her attitude when hearing about this accident.
I was trying to rush back home using a coworker's car on that day, I had a lot of stuff to carry so I asked her if it was possible to come pick me when I arrive to Seoul but she replied "But I need to study for marketing and I'm busy?"
I was taking into consideration the time she will be off work so she could help me bring the stuff back home just for a brief moment when I asked her to come pick me up..
What do you mean marketing? This was all because of her fangirling that her attitude became like that even when her husband came out from a car accident, I couldn't help but be disappointed.
The employee I was working with at the time heard the conversation on the speakerphone in the car and said, 'Aye she's kidding right?'
In the end, she came after midnight to pick me up reluctantly after she kept missing my calls. After I loaded all my stuff in the car, and was telling her about my accident, she was still staring at her group chat.
After this incident, Chuseok came and this was where everything broke out.
She was taking the car with me and her father-in-law (my father) and we were going somewhere. My parents were asking me when were we planning to have a kid, all the way to when we arrived, she just locked herself up in a small room to look at her phone's chat room.
At that time, my family and I went to the movies and she was even looking at her phone during the screening. (You guys know how bad is the phone reflection when watching movies in the dark right?)
I told her "Can you cut it down a bit?" and it went in one ear and came out from the other.
She was freaking ignoring me and it was going beyond just a day or two. I was growing frustrated, so I told my mother-in-law about my problem. She answered "Me too I like Nahoonah(?) and Tae Jin Ah, what's the problem? Don't you have celebrities you like too?"
I started wondering if I wasn't living with such circumstances and took a step back, maybe I would replied the same thing as her?
Please look at this. I don't want to divulge any personal information, so I won't be showing our room pictures.
My house is covered with Lee Jinhyuk's pictures (even on her phone, her notebook, the fridge..)
I live like this everyday, even when I see Lee Jinhyuk in the trash, I feel like vomiting
Some people might look at those pictures and think it's not too bad.
Feel free to think like that.
But imagine living with someone like that and not even being able to talk her some sense in her for anything.
I've endured until December and it was January 2020...
It seems to be true that people cannot easily change. Even in the cold weather, she wears younger-looking makeup and short skirts (even in this coronavirus), when I look at her, I think I need some shock therapy.
In mid-January, in a long letter, I told her that "what you're doing right now is close to mental disease. You're just doing what you want to do after throwing out your family, I wouldn't have cared, no I would've even supported you if your hobbies were swimming, yoga, flower arrangement, etc., but if you're chasing just a young and handsome guy like this, I can't live with you" so I told her I wanted to divorce.
To be honest, I wasn't even expecting her to acknowledge she did wrong at that point.. I just wanted her to give me an affirmative answer so that we could start sorting out the divorce as soon as possible.
However, the next day, she secretly took her annual leave and took all the Lee Jinhyuk related stuff from her room, summoned the mother-in-law to scold me at 8PM when I arrived home from work. I was so taken aback.
She was telling me how we won't be able to have a kid, that it's because I wasn't able to give her a satisfying married life that she went outside to play by herself, she was just using the wrong information against me.
I expressed my position, but my mother-in-law didn't want to listen to any of it.
Whatever I said, she didn't want to listen rather, she even asked me if I wanted to divorce her because I cheated.
They even shouted at me saying that I was the issue in the marriage. She told her parents that I was infertile and they said they would sue me for fraudulent marriage.
It was embarrassing for me, but the situation was already going out of control, so I told my parents the situation. I said the relationship was smooth, but the problem was that she fell for this male idol and neglected her family. I was trying to stop, but each other's emotions were becoming confusing and out of place.
I was very angry, but obviously the trigger of the problem was her, and if I could use my innocence as evidence, I said I would do anything to prove it, so I had a sperm test for the first time in my life.
As a result, I became a healthy king of sperm (!), when I gave the medical certificate to my father-in-law, he didn't even look at it. I told him your daughter is lying, but you resent me.
In the end, February came and we all took our own stuff and took some time away from each other. I waited for her family to live with her so they could recognize the problem and hopefully solve it.
But during that time, I realized that "Ah, I really can't live with this girl anymore"
I waited until March and she asked me to leave the house so she can come in and pack her stuff because seasons were changing and she needed her clothes. But on Saturday, the house was completely emptied.
I was becoming suspicious that she took my stuff and my money so I phoned her mother. I told her "Aye what is there to take from this small house? I barely have anything in it" and ended up being scolded by her again.
At night, I went back to the house and looked for my stuff and after searching everywhere, I discovered that my housing subscription deposit account that my mother put under my name, lease agreement and wedding ring all disappeared. I realized how much of a fool I have become after looking through the house several times.
She stole the money and was secretly planning to threaten me with a penalty lawsuit the whole time.
I started to wonder if she was even the woman that I knew for 10 years. I cried for a long time leaning against the window over the betrayal.
For reference, my salary was managed by her, and I lived with only 400,000 won in allowance.
She managed various travel expenses, living expenses, meals, etc., but later, it became a situation that came biting my ass.
She told me to pay 10 million won in the housing subscription deposit and half of the rent for a house so she could live alone as a penalty.
Luckily I had a lawyer who was able to sort it out because I didn't had that money to give her. All I could give her was my salary, which was the 10M won that she was managing.
She told me that she didn't do anything wrong, that I was the one who brought up the divorce and that she did me favor for not filing a penalty lawsuit.
I know that this was a long read, and it might not reach a lot of people. But It was the worst time of my life and I still have nightmares about it. When I wake and when I sleep, my mentality is just broken.
I was watching TV and randomly stumbled upon a program 'Find Me In Your Memories" where Lee Jinhyuk appeared and without knowing, I almost threw the TV remote at him.
I know that Lee Jinhyuk didn't commit any crime in this... And I know that saying this is irrational.. But I really just want to shoot him dead.
Because of this one person, he broke an entire family.
I'm trying my best to forget about this situation, but more than anything else, I'm so sorry for the life that was never born because of us.
It feels like my heart was ripped in half and I'm hurting..
Thank you for reading
post response:
[+351][-103]
original post: here
t/n: because of the long read we will only translate a few comments ^^;;
1. [+272, -212]
I know you had a hard time, but calling Lee Jinhyuk a f*cker is kinda wrong... No matter how mad and annoyed you are, he's someone precious to other people. Calling him f*cker somewhere where he can easily find himself is just not it
2. [+204, -11]
Ah.... I really hope this is just an advertisement for Lee Jinhyuk..
> I really hope that what you meant was that you hope this didn't happen to OP...
> What advertisement?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I'm another group's fan but please say something more sensical
3. [+195, -5]
You must be having a hard time even now, but I'm glad you broke up as soon as you could. Cheer up and live a new life.
