Wednesday, January 31, 2018

[PC stories] HOW SM AUDITION CHANGED ME

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Hello, I'm just your average 17-year-old girl and I wanted to share my SM audition story.

So I'm not Korean first of all, I'm of Japanese decent but I always loved kpop and was interested by the way they trained their artists (even though sometimes it is cruel).

So, I trained for about a year to do the SM global audition in 2017, and boy did I screw it all up.
I was so nervous I was shaking, I had just gotten out of a chemistry test (my worst subject at school) and went straight to the audition, I had barely any sleep and was tired due to my exam.
I got the lyrics wrong and sang another song. A girl before me got the lyrics four times wrong and was cut immediately, but incredibly the lady judging me was quite surprised and let me sing more than the average time...but unfortunately, I was not called again.

I had my hopes high for one month, dreaming that the smile the judging lady gave me was a 'yes', but days pass by, my insomnia was worsening, my grades were going down, my mother was still battling cancer at that time and my self esteem was non-existent.

My father who is all day away from home working saw that I was shutting myself away from the world, he came to me and said not to give up. That maybe that was meant to happen and that I would eventually overcome it and become better as a person and a singer.
He said to me if that's what I truly want he will suport and help me, and that hope was always by my side. After he went away, I cried feeling powerless but also confort from my dad.

I then realized just like my dad said, hope is by my side. That smile that woman gave me wasn't "oh even though she made a mistake I'll pass her", it was a "oh, if she hadn't made that mistake I would've passed her".

There is hope, and I believe there's a second chance.
I picked myself up from the ground and every night I said to myself, I can do it, I can do it.

My mother got out of cancer treatment (she's doing fine!!!! :D), I passed all my exams, my insomnia got better and I'll be able to go to Korea to do the audition again.
This time I'll show a better me, a new me, a thing that I didn't train in 2016. Confidence.
I'll show them my confidence, I'll show them my passion, I'll show them my drive and with hope by my side, I wish the judging lady will smile at me thinking, "I'll pass her."


Thank you, and remember guys! Never give up on your dreams!!!! If I ever get in and debut lol, I'll find this post again and reveal myself!!! High hopes everyone!!! YOU CAN DO IT ;)

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