Saturday, December 23, 2017


Image result for anime flowers
(pic not included)

First of all, I’ve never dated in my life and I’m seriously so uncomfortable around guys?
So I went to an all-girls school during high school but things happened so I ended up transferring to a co-ed school… seriously, I really hated it. Even during middle school, when I went to the academy, I was always awkward around guys so I’ve never became close with them. It wasn’t that I hated guys but I was just so bad at talking to guys and interacting with them…
Anyways, I’m just super uncomfortable around guysㅠㅠㅠ but there’s this guy in our class (T/N: let’s call him A for ease :) )… he’s the kind of guy who would post pictures with girls on Instagram but no one would suspect them to be dating.. that type of guy.
His personality is super good. During breaks, he’s almost never in class… even during lunch time, he’s always with kids of other class at the cafeteria… he seriously knows a lot of people…
He also has a lot of female friends… he’s straight up a sociable kid. But the reason that I’m writing about him is because…
First of all, I was placed into a. “advanced” class in my first year… but I’m not in that class anymore… saying this from my own mouth is a bit off-putting but I kinda have that “kid who studies well” image in our class..
So some point during the first semester, A was sitting in front of me. He saw that I was good at studying so he would frequently ask me questions.
Of all the guys in our class, he was the only one who would always talk to me. But since he’s close with so many girls, I’ve never thought that he might be interested in me?
To be honest, it was a bit of a pain but how can I not help him?ㅠㅠ but he’s super nice so he would always thank me. And once, we got an exam and he scored well on a question I solved with him before and he thanked me saying that it was all because of me and bought be jellies.
At that time, we chatted a few times and agreed to study together at the library. Other times, he would randomly take pictures of his homework and send them to me asking for help. I just thought “wow he must really be a hard worker when it comes to studies…”. To be honest, I’ve never thought that he would use the library as an excuse to see me or anything. But after that we changed seats, our seats ended up being far from each other.
The day after we changed seats, we said that we would study in class together during lunch time and he went and sat in front of me. He then looked at me and said with a smile “should I change seats with this guy?”  and I was like “why?..ㅋㅋ” and he just didn’t say anything back and laughed.
And it was at that time that I thought “is there something going on…?”
During summer break, he sent me a ka-talk. But I thought that if I replied him, I would have to maintain the conversation with him so I just thought that I’ll reply him later instead. So because I just didn’t open his message, I forgot about it.
Our teacher wrote to us in our group chat asking if everyone was doing well and the kids were all replying him/her, me included. And at that time, A wrote to me again right away.
He wrote “wow, you don’t even read mine”. So I said that I was gonna reply him after I replied to the group chat but then he randomly sent me a movie and was like “have you seen this?”. And I replied “no” and he said “want to go watch it together?”. And then at that time, I thought that he really might be interested in me so I didn’t replied him at that time…
I thought I was gonna reply him later but then 3 hours went by and he replied “it’s ok, I’ll just go watch it alone ㅎ”… at that time, I seriously didn’t know what to reply so I just didn’t open his message..
To be honest, I was really thinking a lot about this but.. he has so many female friends and if you go in his Facebook, there are so many comments left by girls who are so close with him… so I really wasn’t sure if he just wanted to be close with me or if he was interested in meㅠ
So during the 2nd semester, I think that I haven’t talked to him at all and he didn’t come talk to me as much either.
After Pepero Day (T/N: 11th of November, Koreans give Pepero to the people they like), I was eating my lunch normally at my desk. That guy is close with the kid sitting behind be so they were all gathered behind me and were eating Peperos. It was awkward for me to be sitting there so I just got up but then, A suddenly asked me "do you want some?" and gave ma a Pepero. He didn't give me one, but gave me the whole box.

So all of his friends were now focusing on me and  one of his friend was glaring at me so much so at that time, I was too taken aback and said "no..." and then went out of the class... ㅠㅠㅠㅠ but then the expression on A's face was so sad... but wasn't it so random though? We haven't talked at all all this time and it's not like he pretended that knew me either and suddenly, he gave me a Pepero...

Anyways, after that, when our eyes met, his expressions would be so cold...? And then we just haven't talked at all until December. The girls were talking about what they would do during the winter vacation and the guys came in and joined them too. So in the end, they agreed that all the kids in the class would hang out together. The kids asked me if I would join and I said that I couldn't confirm and A looked at me at that time but didn't say anything.

Some days ago, school ended and I was waiting for a taxi at the bus station and he came waiting too since he had to take the bus. And he looked at me and said if I was gonna take the taxi and if he should call one for me... I said that it was fine and he suddenly asked me if I was gonna go play with the class' kids for winter vacation. And I said that because I had to attend the academy, I wasn't sure about it so he asked me when my academy was. And I said "why..?" and he said "no, I just wanted you to come too" so I said that I didn't know. So then I just didn't talked to him and was waiting for me taxi and turned my head towards the street, but he still stood besides me.
So I looked back at him wondering why he wasn't going and he looked back at me and was like "why? Am I making you uncomfortable?". And I said "Huh? no...?" And he stayed there and just smiled so I said "...why aren't you going..?" and he said "I should wait until you get in the taxi right.." 
So we just stood there without saying anything and waited for the taxi...

So when the taxi came, he said bye and I thanked him through text for waiting with me...

But the reason why I'm writing this post is that... yesterday, there was a girl from another class that came into our class and was wearing A's padding jacket. A was sleeping so she just removed it and put it over him. So yeah, he probably just lent it to her... I just thought that he had so many girl friends...

But then, when the clean up time came, I was cleaning the class and he came in. He was eating a candy and asked me if I wanted one too. I didn't feel good ever since so I said that I didn't wanna eat while closing the windows so I couldn't see him. So he came behind me and put my padding's hoodie over my head and at that time, I didn't know why but my hand reached out and I was like "it's ok, I'll do it." and he just looked at me and he said "looks like I seriously can't give you anything" and just left.

I came to school  today and he hasn't even looked at me alt all... did I hurt him too much...? Am I overreacting?

I don't knowㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ I'm not trying to be an aquarium... I seriously don't know (T/N: aquarium = bad term used to describe girls who flirts with guys and know that they are interested but doesn't want to commit, but still keeps them around, like fish in an aquarium). I seriously don't know what I should do nowㅠㅠㅠㅠ

post response:
original post: here

ㅇㅇ |2017.12.21 00:01 신고하기
Wow I was way too frustrated while reading this post so I had to leave a comment. It's so obvious that he likes you and he expresses it so much but you keep putting up a wall, but then you feel sad seeing another girl giving him his long padding. The guy did everything he could so you have to give him some kind of answer. It's not that he's being polite or anything, he likes you. He must be so tired 

ㅇㅇ |2017.12.21 10:30 신고하기
You like him ㅇㅇ At some point, you started to care about him and even though you weren't aware of it, you started to like him. But since you've always been uncomfortable with guys before, you don't know how to talk with them. What's more is that since he has a lot of female friends, you can't differentiates whether he likes you or not. But in fact, he does like you too and I'm sure of it. But since you always give him the cold shoulder, he started to slowly close his heart on you. If you really like him back, you should send him a ka-talk first. This will be a new beginning for you. You probably acted like that with him because you were hurt..ㅠㅠ And for sure he will reply you right away. That guy is just waiting for you to write to him first. Just grab your courage and go for it..!

ㅇㅇ |2017.12.21 00:07 신고하기
Yah... the more I read this, the more I felt bad for that guy


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