Tuesday, January 23, 2018


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I apologize for any grammar mistakes or bad transitioning. It's my first time sharing a story, so hopefully you all can bear with me. ^^ I left out some details in the first story or else it would get too lengthy, but these are my own thoughts and personal experience. I have no intention of bashing idols or starting bad rumors, hence I will keep the mentioned celebrity anonymous.

~~As the title states, has there ever been a moment where you felt that being an international fan was pathetic? For me there were two moments where I felt that way.As an i-fan it's such a rare occurrence for us to be able to meet our idols, more so wondering on the street. 

I am not the type to lurk on social media to figure out the whereabouts of celebrities when they visit. Meeting this idol was something that happened purely by chance. 
I met this idol while waiting at the bus stop with some friends. 
At first we didn't even realize it was an idol until that person came closer. 
Upon confirming that it was said idol, we asked the staff if it was possible to take a picture. 
The staff kindly apologized and let us know it was not allowed. 
It felt like the best thing that happened to us that day, but after realizing the situation we suddenly felt pitiful. 

This idol had walked past two times knowing we were fans and just ignored us. 
I now see this idol in a different light and began to question why we got such treatment. 
Was it so hard to wave or acknowledge us despite being unable to take pictures? 
If we were Korean fans would the idol acknowledge us? It's not like we were acting out a scene from Train to Busan for that idol to ignore us.
 I was hurt and felt conflicted. Being an idol is this person's job and at the end of the day this person is also human just wanting to do human stuff and owes me nothing, but I couldn't help to feel the way I felt. 
I disliked this sense of self entitlement, but it made me feel really disappointed for being a fan.

The second incident for me was seeing how idols treat k-fans vs. i-fans. 
Of course they treat all fans well, but as an i-fan it always feels like there's a distance between i-fans and idols. 
It's not just physically and language wise, but during instances when they come overseas that the distance becomes more apparent. 
What I mean is that when they come overseas they sometimes will write posts to their Korean fans like "*insert fandom name* we'll be back soon. We miss you guys already. Did you guys eat already?" 
Looking at it objectively, it's not that big of a deal. 
They are Korean idols and Korea is their home so of course to them Korean fans are like their home. 
However, I can't help but feel a little sad. It feels like we are part of the fandom, but not really part of the fandom. 
There's that feeling that despite our efforts to cheer them on from a far, they are only looking at Korean fans and thinking of them. 

Instances like this make me appreciate idols who mention and interact with their international fans on a regular basis and not just because they are going there to make money. 

Of course looking at things rationally, being a fan should just be fun and simple. It shouldn't be taken so personally. But after these two incidents I've learned to change my mindset on the way I fangirl. In the end I'm the only one whose feelings get hurt, so it's pointless to have unnecessary expectations. Anyways, that's it to this. Thanks for reading! ^^

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