"I want to get lost too, but I have to take care of my mom. Ah, I'm gonna start getting so many DMs calling me 'no brains'. You're right. I am 'no brains' and I've never properly learned anything in my life. I had to earn money from a young age because of my family situation.
After my dad passed away, when I cried in the waiting room there was an unnie who dragged me to the closet, telling me to stop crying because it was ruining the mood, and I tried to tell her that I was scared. I tried to tell her that I was scared of my dad dying. I can't ever forget what she said to me then. Any other bullying? Any other harsh words? They're all fine. It was such a scar but we got in the same car afterward so I forced myself to go to sleep, taking nerve relaxers and sleeping pills. I needed to do a good job with my schedules but I felt myself breaking. I even tried to take my own life because of her once.
Honestly, I'm okay even if you people never respect me as an idol or an actress. I know I'm terrible, I'm not good at anything. But I was really happy, and I tried really hard. I still love being in this area of work. I was never stressed about being an idol, and in truth, I never wanted to leave AOA; but because of one person who hated me, I gave up after enduring her bullying for 10 years and at the end of it all, I wanted to turn around and curse at her.
In the end, I gave up AOA. I really had fun promoting as AOA with the other members. But some time ago, that bunnies father passed away, and I felt so sad and strange. At least I know exactly how that feels. When I went to the funeral she came to my crying, telling me she was sorry. It was so unfulfilling, and my heart really broke down.
Everything emptied itself after that. I felt okay, I let go of the blame but by then, I was already too broken. I'm scared. I'm having some time to myself on hiatus now and I knew. I wanted to try learning a few things, maybe try to receive treatment for my depression and anxiety. But it turns out, even during a hiatus a lot of things happen.
I'm so tired. You know how the netizens say things online? How I don't know who I think I am, no one knows what I'm trying to be, no one wants to see my face or hear me talk and all that, but despite that, it wasn't like I was born because I wanted to be born, and I have a mouth, I have hands, but I can't control myself any more either and I need to live for my mom.
It's fine if you don't see me fondly and it's fine if you don't pay me any attention; can't you just leave me alone? Because I get that everything is my fault."
CR: Allkpop
original post: here
1. What's happeningㅠㅠ
2. Aigo Mina-yah...
3. So she left the group... I found her likable because of her dramaㅜㅜ I hope that she's healthy and finds strength
4. She must have been having it so hardㅠㅠ I hope that she doesn't have any bad thoughts and finds strength
5. Ah must have been hard
6. What to do ㅠㅠ
7. ㅠㅠ I hope that she finds strength ㅜㅜ
8. Mina-sshi, find strength
9. This is so sad ㅜㅜ
10. Hul... I'm so worried ㅠㅠㅠ
[theqoo] EX-AOA MEMBER YOOKYUNG UPDATES HER INSTAGRAM
"To be honest, I felt like everyone looked the same to me
I wanna kill the pain I feel inside. But I won't quit for the people I love. So I'll say I'm fine until the day I fucking see the light
Just like the lyrics of the song I'm listening to. I have to overcome everything again"
(T/n: same caption as above but with different lyrics)
original post: here
1. She's saying that all the bystanders are the same
2. No but if she also suffered, she should say it clearly like Mina did. But she's fueling the fire with her Cyword-like posts in this situation. How is calling her out "hate"?
3. Why should Yookyung say words of encouragement to Mina?ㅎㅎ Yookyung can also say her perspective. What right do you have to judge her?
4. What's up with the replies here?
5. Is she taking a shot at Mina too? This just seems like an overall difficult situation
6. If the leader of the group has that threatening vibe... you can imagine what the atmosphere in the team was like
7. If she got bullied, then just say it. If not, just don't say anything. What's up with this attention-seeking post?ㅋㅋ is this Cyworld?
8. Everyone is an adult now and have experienced society... why is she acting like a kid?
9. So she's saying that they are all the same? Wasn't she the first one to quit the group?
10. Please just tell us the truth... I don't know what she wants to get from this ㅠㅠ
[theqoo] MINA'S INSTAGRAM UPDATE
"Fiction"
This is the post that Jimin uploaded and deleted
"I’ve only said one of out one trillion things that exist. Try saying it’s fiction, you’ll be punished by the heavens. Don’t be like that. There are witnesses and evidence. I’m sorry but there’s no need to hear from both sides because I did nothing wrong. During our last days together, I wanted to get hair implants but I was late to get to the dance practice room because the anesthesia wasn’t wearing off. I called in advance but as soon as I heard your voice, I knew you would throw things into chaos so I couldn’t go to the dance practice room. And that day, I tried to commit suicide again. That’s my biggest fault [to you]. I’ve said everything I’ve done wrong, so should I share stories about you now? There’s so many that it would be bothersome to write them all down. But to say this is fiction, if you had a conscience.. Why did you delete it? Try calling it fiction, there will be quite a lot of people who would be dumbfounded to hear that. Oh right, even back then, you said you couldn’t remember and you said you weren’t a bad person who would say things like that, right? Wow, it must be nice to be able to erase your memory like that. They say the person who says hurtful words usually can’t remember them. Please erase my memory too. Please, please. Then again, you probably could see my wrist and not feel any guilt, right? You’d probably curse right at my face." (CR: Soompi)
original post: here
1. Hul Jimin why did you say that? ㅠ
2. Mina played Kim Heesun's child actor in Wonderful Days and she acted without much makeup on. I thought that she looked so natural and that she would've find her path in acting but it was a shame that I didn't see her again afterwards... her face is so pretty too... what a shame
3. It breaks my heart ㅜㅜ
4. To be honest, it doesn't seem cool that she posted her "fiction" post. It just seems like she doesn't want to acknowledge the truth
5. This is seriously so sad
6. It looks like she's so unstable so I hope that someone's with her right now... I'm so worried
7. What to do ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ I seriously don't like Jimin
8. Jimin is such a bad b*tch seriously
9. Looks like she finally exploded after enduring everything all this time
10. Mina's Insta
"peek peek"
[I fixed the title] Since I originally wrote that it was bullying, people might believe that (Jimin) bullied all the members.. But from what I see, she was being harassed so I decided to call it as bullying! I switched out 'bullying' by 'harassment' on the title!
DM: F*ck off you b*tch
(T/N: same cap as first post)
"Oh, the reason I brought up that person in AOA is because my dad was diagnosed with late-stage pancreatic cancer and I knew he would pass away soon, but because I thought she would tell me off again, I had an acting job, we were making a comeback so I didn’t want to negatively affect the other members as we were promoting, I had lines to learn and had to smile a lot, I felt like I couldn’t get caught up in thoughts of my dad and I needed to do my job properly, so I couldn’t visit my dad at the hospital. Because of his cancer, he was skin and bones, and I couldn’t help but cry when I saw him. My sister would call and say that my dad couldn’t speak anymore but was still asking for me. But what if I start crying during a scheduled activity? What if she says something to me again? I was so young and I thought that was what I needed to do. I thought that was the right thing to do and I didn’t want to get told off anymore. So I could have seen my dad more but I didn’t. And when my father closed his eyes, I saw it and I heard the sound of the machine as his pulse flatlined. I was told that my dad had shakily written “Where is my daughter?” on a sketchbook and shown the nurse, but I hadn’t been able to go see him because I was working. From what I heard, she’d been given a VIP room and her solo activities were canceled, but I hope that wasn’t the case. You should be professional, too.
Don’t cry, okay? You said it ruined the mood, you asked why you had to walk on eggshells because of me. You need to overcome it well, too. I still can’t erase the memory of what you said to me and how you acted. Even though the memories are fainter, I remember them all. Whenever I remember them, I take medication and get through it. But I think what happened with my dad will stay with me for life. Those might have been words you spit out without much thought for me, but those words were so hurtful to me. In our last five minutes together, I told you about how that had been hurtful, and you glared at me and said, “I don’t think I’m that much of a bad person that I would say something like that?” Another member so courageously spoke up and said those were words you did say. I was so dispirited that I couldn’t speak and I thought to myself, ‘Is she even human?’ And we said our goodbyes. To be honest, I’m not that smart so I have really bad memory but with you, the list is endless, there’s so much there. But I’ll only say that one thing because who knows, I terminated my contract with the agency but what if they ask me to pay for breach of contract? I haven’t said everything, so it’s okay, right? Because of you, I take numerous pills and because I cut my left wrist so much, the nerves are damaged so it stings and aches. But when I look at my mom, I feel the will to live, I need to go make money. So I’m working hard to undergo scar treatment, although I still have nightmares. What’s funny is that before I left, we [AOA members] would have drinks together without you and talk, but still, none of us can figure it out? Why do you hate me?"
-CR. Soompi
(T/N: same cap as 3rd post)
post response:
[+1,775][-9]
original post: here
1. [+1,136, -5]
She was being harassed for 10 years, meanwhile her family condition was precarious too, her dad caught cancer and passed away and she was still there on stage forcing herself to smile, forcing herself to eat tranquilizers? But whey are people tormenting her asking why she's only talking now, until when do you want her to hurt? Do you think pain has an expiration date?
2. [+1,035, -8]
But if you look at it Choa also doesn't follow Jimin.. The person tormenting Mina looks like Jimin too... AOA is going to split, I liked Choa so I still visit her IG from time to time and I used to think that it was weird how she never followed Jimin until the end..
3. [+742, -1]
But this post has seriously so much dumbfounding stuff into it... She's been through so much hardship I just hope that she has someone next to her. The fact that she's so public about it on her IG means that she's on the brink of giving up
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